Thoughts on ageing, envy and living in the in-between
THIS! Not living an expected life AND still feeling disoriented by ageing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so honestly. xx
As a 72 year young designer/artist who has led an alternative life I feel what you are experiencing as you travel through a major transition. I hear you. If I could go back in time I would tell my younger 50 year old self that personal feminine empowerment would guide and help me, keep me confident and excited about my life.
I will be 53 in October and I feel like I’ve been feeling my way along this path at your side, and you’ve been helping me do a lot of this work. I think you are much better prepared for this part of the journey than you may realize.
it’s magically amazing, and things do change. 💗 it’s beautiful, babe and I’m excited to watch you unravel beside me.
(Also here if things get bumpy, as always 😘)
Terrifically expressed! THANK YOU for this. :D
“It’s like a reflection in the mirror of a life I could maybe have if I’m bold enough to claim it.”
For years I was never bold enough. I would look at others a decade younger than me doing their thing and I would feel inspired but also envious at their ability to put their words out there and seemingly not giving AF - so this sentence resonated with me. It’s only now, in my mid-40s, I’m feeling that feistiness, that drive, and yes - anger- to be bolder and to go out there and grab it. It’s taken me a long time.
It‘s such a strange thing- peeling back the layers shows the bits of the myths I‘m happy to discard- so with you on full crone! - as well as the bits I‘m still gripping onto- some marks of age delight me while others scare me and I want to control. As always, you‘ve expressed what I didn‘t have words for yet. Grace- yes, please. Let‘s have more of that. Loving the energy in this comment thread!
As a long time fan of the original Ink On My Fingers…it’s good to have you back.
I’m in my thirties, not planning on having kids, and I don’t personally know many women in their 50s who have followed a similar path and have wisdom to impart. Thank you for sharing your experience. I love the new substack format!
The comments are inspiring...what a wonderful group of wise ageing women we are!
I literally JUST walked in from a conversation I had with my husband and found this letter, which felt like it was meant for me. I’ll be 53 in December and was just lamenting about applying for an artist residency that I “am in NO WAY cool enough to be chosen for”. :) Thank you for this, Susannah. I don’t wish to return to my early-mid 30s either - divorce, not knowing who I was or what I wanted, totally stressed out working in the movie industry in Los Angeles. Everything changed in my 40s…so much better…but now I’m noticing those moments of feeling “not being cool enough/aka young enough” to do the stuff I want to do coming up a little more often. xoxo
My 50s have been some of the best years of my life! It has been a deeper self discovery than I knew was possible with deep pain and ecstatic joy. It has been the deepest Unravelling of my life.
I’m in two minds here . I started off aging gracefully until I got tired of the pain and aches and the low self esteem of looking at my shriveled skin . So I decided to age beautifully gracefully lol . I’m opening my own prp treatment clinic for the 40+ patient! We all need a little pick me up and why not using your own blood to help you. Excited to see where this takes others and how it improves their lives !
Thank you Susannah, for these beautifully raw words.
As someone who is going through her Pluto square to Pluto in my late 30's, I can't wait to see what the 40s bring. I remember turning 20 being a massive thing. Turning 30 was somehow small. It did not feel as shifting. But as 40 is nearing, with no kids or work that I absolutely love, I feel the same feelings as I did stepping into 20s. The unknown. The uncertainty. There is a big shift happening that I can't quite gauge yet and that is the beauty of it. I do know one thing... I want my 40s to be big and bold. In a way, 30s have been about working towards that. For now, I'm embracing the in-between.
Thank you for paving your own path and encouring so many of us fellow wanderers to walk our own.
Thanks for your wisedom!
I'm 56 in a few weeks so a few years in front of you with a different journey. I think we all look back when we're reaching the markers in our life (they always seem to have a number change and a 0). Would we go back, would we do things differently, were things better? They are unanswerable questions. The new journeys are exciting and we bring wisdom as part of crone hood. Little did I expect at nearly 56 to weigh 7 stone less and be a finalist in a National Aerial Hoop Competition. Wisdom, Maturity and Opportunity is a wonderful trio! Embrace them xx
Ha! I am reading this instead of working on my own blog post. I could have written this one. I turned 50 last month, and I can't seem to feel the ground underneath me. Everything around me is changing and I find myself looking outside for clarification too often. I avoid social media, because other people seem to have their act together. I think you are brave to live an authentic and alternative life. It's about time that we get to do what we want to do! I love what you are doing.